Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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