call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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