Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize