Kiss
Puke
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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