She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
