where does the pee come out of this thing
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
