Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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