you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Jerry, you need to find god
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
