ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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