Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
