i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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