I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just google imaged poop.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
