Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
