Who wears a wallet chain?!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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