I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..