I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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