I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.