a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER