There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
