how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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