How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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