Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
