well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
