I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
