also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize