guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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