Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize