I'm drive I can fine osifer
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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