Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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