I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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