Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
