My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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