why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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