Yo dont text me then not text me
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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