I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
