Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
