my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
