my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've blown a few things in my day
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
