Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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