Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
