you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
