just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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