You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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