ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
