I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
