There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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