Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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