Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
