Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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