I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
