He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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