When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
No subtext here. People are naked.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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