now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize