I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
