He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
