So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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