I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
