just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
soo... how was my night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
