someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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