Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
