i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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