Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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