i think my tv is drunk
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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