There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize