yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
