don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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