He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
