I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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