Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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