I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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