Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Who wears a wallet chain?!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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