handjob tips. give me some.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
