i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
