loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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